Tarja's Latest

This is not exactly a Goth song.  Okay it's not at all Goth, but Tarja DOES do Goth part of the time.  This is her latest video from the forthcoming live disc, Act I.  Into the Sun is the title.

Creating an outfit: Romantic Goth

Creating a wardrobe of Gothic clothes beyond black jeans and band T-shirts can be an expensive thing to do.  Romantic and Victorian styles can be particularly costly since the clothes are frequently hand made or vintage.  I saw a really cool top hat once, the genuine article more than 100 years old.  The price was over $100 too, $169 as I recall.  It helps if you know how to sew as patterns abound and you pick the cloth.  Unfortunately I don't sew.  Here thrift shops are a great place to find vintage pieces not only reasonable but downright cheap!  Several weeks ago I went thrifting.  I was starting to get discouraged.  My daughter Molly never hits the stores without finding several treasures.  I'd been to three already and decided to hit the Mega Goodwill at Van Ness and Mission in a last ditch effort.  One of the first items I came upon was a full length dark red brocade dress.  It was only $19 when I noticed a small, repairable hole in one shoulder.  After trying it on and finding it fit perfectly, I headed for check out.  I mentioned the hole to the sales clerk and he reduced the price by $4 so the dress cost a mere $15.  My vision was to combine a black corset or waist cinch corset.  I found the waist cinch corset on sale at Orchard Corset for a mere $60, nearly four times the cost of the dress but a bargain none the less.  I added to this some black pump boots and voilà, I had a great looking outfit for $75.  The boots I already owned and the corset will have other uses so on the whole it was a very good deal.
There is one more part to this story.  In order to wear a corset as an outside conditions must exist.  Either you are very svelte,  you don't mind an occasional bulge sticking out above and below the corset or you are willing to wear substantial foundation garments underneath.

I took the third option which required a SPANX body briefer that comes up just below the bust and a long line bra (I had always wondered why someone would wear one).  I was very pleased with the final result.  Tell me what you think?

If you should try this at home, be aware that a body briefer under a cinched corset does not easily come down, like if you want to use the toilet?  Don't wait till the last moment because the corset has to come off before the SPANX comes down!

Murder

©  2007-2012  HBO TV True Blood

Patrice had finished her shift at the hospital and strolled easily through the meadows in the middle of Golden Gate Park. Amid the redwoods and flowers lining the meadow, she sensed the presence of someone, someone male tracking her as she approached the edge of the treeline.

She heard him breathing and running long before he would reach her. Patricia allowed this man to tackle her from behind. Quickly he flipped her over and straddled her chest. His half erect penis was soon in her face and he was yelling "Open your mouth, bitch!" Patricia complied. She bit down hard, almost severing her attacker's cock. She began to draw blood through the wound. Now she flipped her assailant over, crushed his sternum with her knee. She continued drawing his blood.
This was not the first time he had done this. She could see in his mind the faces of his earlier victims, all of them blond, all of them young. It was better she didn't kill him by draining him. She didn't want to risk creating a revenant. Not to worry though, the crushed sternum would prevent him from breathing and crying out. She noticed the garrote in his hand. He had planned to strangle her when he finished. He deserved to suffer more and Patricia regretted not having time to deal with him in a more leisurely fashion. He would have screamed if he'd been able. She wiped the blood off her chin and started for home. The sun would soon be rising.

Sophie Lancaster: No se olvide

La mayoría de las personas en los Estados Unidos no conocen de que Sophie era. Déjenme decirles acerca de ella.
Sophie era una mujer joven, de 20 años de edad que vivía en Bacup, Lancashire, Inglaterra, una ciudad suburbana 22 millas al norte de Manchester. Ella estaba en su año de despedida de la universidad con la intención de estudiar una carrera en la literatura Inglés. Su novio mucho tiempo, Robert Maltby, era un estudiante de arte de la época. Hoy es un pintor de éxito. Ambos eran miembros de la subcultura gótica.
Al regresar a casa después de una noche fuera, Sophie Lancaster y su novio, Robert Maltby se sometieron a un "ataque de la turba vicioso" de "un gran grupo de personas" en la madrugada del sábado 11 de agosto de 2007, en la zona de skate park de Stubbylee Park, Bacup.
La pareja fue a casa y se encontró con un grupo de adolescentes en la entrada al parque.  El grupo de los siguió, pero no había ningún problema hasta que algunos de ellos de repente asaltado Robert Maltby sin provocación. Cuando fue golpeado hasta quedar inconsciente, la pandilla atacó a Sophie Lancaster, quien estaba tratando de protegerlo por acunando en sus brazos. Un testigo de 15 años de edad, dijo a la policía: "Fueron corriendo y sólo su patadas en la cabeza y saltando arriba y abajo en la cabeza.
Testigos revelaron que después, "Los asesinos celebraron su ataque contra los godos - o" Moshers "- diciendo a amigos después de que habían" hecho summat [algo] bueno ", y afirmando:" Hay dos Moshers casi muerto hasta Bacup parque - usted quiero verlos - son un lío.
Ambos fueron hospitalizados como resultado del ataque, inicialmente en la enfermería de Rochdale. Robert Maltby lesiones lo dejó en coma con hemorragia en el cerebro. Poco a poco se recuperó, pero se quedó con braindamage duradera. Sophie no tuvo tanta suerte.
En un estado de coma profundo en el Hospital de la Esperanza en Salford, se hizo claro para el personal del hospital que nunca volvería a recuperar la conciencia, y el 24 de agosto de 2007, su familia accedió a desactivar el soporte vital.



El asesinato era algo que le pasó a ella, pero ¿quién era esta chica?

Sophie era un niño inteligente libresco que dio muestras de querer ser diferente desde una edad temprana. Políticos, vegetariano, pacifista, Sophie había dejado la escuela con niveles A y estaba pensando qué hacer con su futuro cuando estaba tan brutalmente de ella.

Sophie y Rob vestido de una manera única, que expresa su individualidad como personas creativas artísticas a través de ropa de estilo gótico, piercings y el maquillaje, lo que provocó el ataque mortal en las primeras horas de la mañana del sábado. Sophie había estado saliendo con Rob Maltby, un estudiante de arte de 21 años de edad, hace tres añosvestido:....

que no hacía deporte
que no hice carne
No me pidas que usar ese
No lo haré
¿Por qué pedirme a seguir la
.línea,no puedo
yo era pequeño o pequeña,
pero nunca petitey
un pelo de tonto,
sin muñeca
Barbie,.ninguna niña girlie
yo era delgado y fuerte,
no un gramo de grasa
en mis pensamientos o mis extremidades.
En mi adolescencia difíciles
que era extraño, era extraño,
- no somos todos
-.había algo diferente hacia abajo en el centro
Bandas de chicos y tartas pop me dejó frío,
vamos a decir
que me marchaba al ritmo
de un tambor diferente,
cantó otra canción,
vagaba a voluntad
a través de los puestos del mercado
tarareando canciones de protesta.
Me puse perro tachonado lleva
alrededor de mi muñeca,
y se alegró como un puñetazo
en la boca, en el concierto,
que se destacó
por una estrella fugaz
de saliva de Marilyn Manson los labios.
Pero para todo eso
de muchas maneras un alma vieja usanza,
como  casa
enen mi propio salón,
en mi propio sofá.
leí,
escribí, pinté,dibujé.
Cuando venía de
no se
sabe,pero fluyó. Fluyó.

Sophie Lancaster: Don't Forget Her

Most people in the United States have no idea who Sophie was.  Let me tell you about her.
Sophie was a young woman, 20 years old who lived in Bacup, Lancashire, England, a suburban town 22 miles North of Manchester.  She was on her bye year from university and intended to study for a degree in English literature.  Her long time boyfriend, Robert Maltby, was an art student at the time.  Today he is a successful painter.  They were both members of the Goth subculture.
While returning home from a night out, Sophie Lancaster and her boyfriend, Robert Maltby were subjected to a "vicious mob attack" from "a large group of people" in the early morning hours on Saturday, 11 August 2007, at the skate park area of Stubbylee Park, Bacup.
The couple were walking home and came across a group of teenagers at the entrance to the park. [6] The group followed them, but there was no trouble until some of them suddenly assaulted Robert Maltby without provocation. When he was knocked unconscious, the gang attacked Sophie Lancaster, who was trying to protect him by cradling him in her arms. A 15-year-old witness told police: "They were running over and just kicking her in the head and jumping up and down on her head.
Witnesses revealed that afterwards, "The killers celebrated their attack on the goths — or "moshers" - by telling friends afterwards that they had "done summat [something] good," and claiming: "There's two moshers nearly dead up Bacup park — you wanna see them — they're a right mess.
Both were hospitalised as a result of the attack, initially at Rochdale Infirmary.  Robert Maltby's injuries left him in a coma with bleeding on the brain.  He gradually recovered, but was left with lasting braindamage.  Sophie was not so lucky.
In a deep coma at Hope Hospital in Salford, it became clear to hospital staff that she would never regain consciousness, and on 24 August 2007 her family agreed to switch off life support .

Murder was something that happened to her, But Who Was This Girl?

© 2011 - 2012 Simon Armitage, Black Roses: The Killing of Sophie Lancaster

Tarja, my favorite singer!

Tarja – Montañas de Silencio

Finding the Light Through the Darkness

I have struggled with depression most of my life.  At a young age I began to develop a sense of irony, perhaps too, young.  It sometimes expressed itself in the form of sarcasm and cynicism about the world I lived in, the people I met and interactions with them.  Because of some illnesses in childhood I also developed and understanding about death.  I began to see the world through a dark lens.  I was reading Poe in the third grade and loved horror movies which I watched despite my parents best efforts to keep me from “that garbage”.  I quickly learned that such a dark vision was not appreciated in children and began to adapt to the expectations of others.  I became adept at playing happy even when I was miserable.  I believe this to be the root of my depression, constantly trying to be someone that I’m not on many, many levels.  It wasn’t until middle age that I gave up the charade.  I’ve embraced my inner darkness.  I didn’t do the Goth scene in the ‘80s because I was busy trying to prove how normal I was.  Now I am dressing a dark aesthetic, I’m listening to Goth and metal music.  I’m writing a Gothic horror novel and I’ve never been so genuinely happy in my whole life.  To people that think members of the Goth subculture are depressed I offer an observation.  Depressed people don’t spend two hours getting dressed in the morning.  They’re lucky to get out their nighties.  There were a couple television shows that really helped me to accept myself.  One was the HBO series Six Feet Under and the other Showtime’s series Dead Like Me.  The following clip is the final minutes of the final show of the series that sums this all up very nicely.  Voice over by Ellen Muth as Georgia Lass in the MGM TV series.

Dead Like Me S02 E15 Final 2 minutes

© MGM TV 2004 - 2012

Carmilla

If you know me you know I'm wild about vampire stories.  I'm wild enough about them that I'm writing a novel of my own.  Most people think Dracula was the first big vampire story.  I don't dispute the magnitude of Bram Stoker's accomplishment  The novel Dracula is a wonderfully written  I really like his use of letters and journal entries to develop characters and get inside their heads without using a narration from the writer.  More so than in film adaptations you get to know Lucy intimately and feel sadness in her demise.  But the fact is much of what he used was premiered 25 years earlier in 1872 by an Irish writer, J. Sheridan LeFanu in the novella Carmilla.  The modern beautiful, charming vampires of Interview With the Vampire and True Blood owe much more to LeFanu's story than Dracula.  The story is still in print and can be downloaded for free or in a paper book as part of the anthology, In a Glass Darkly.  Carmilla is much depicted in art, usually as a dark, sinister creature with blood on her mouth and dressed like a modern day Goth or as the picture in my previous post, wearing nothing at all.  The character as described in the book is not at all like that.  She has a languid beauty and looks very much like an aristocratic young woman of the time which she was when she was alive.  That is what made her so dangerous.  The picture below is the truest I've found to the authors original vision.  The book was written at the height of the Victorian era yet seethes with lesbian eroticism between Carmilla and Laura, the narrator of the story.  Strangely, there has never been a good film rendition of the story.

© 2007 - 2012 Mithgariel http://browse.deviantart.com/?order=9&q=carmilla&offset=96#/d17clb5  

Sometimes after an hour of apathy, my strange and beautiful companion would take my hand and hold it with a fond pressure, renewed again and again; blushing softly, gazing in my face with languid and burning eyes, and breathing so fast that her dress rose and fell with the tumultuous respiration. It was like the ardour of a lover; it embarrassed me; it was hateful and yet overpowering; and with gloating eyes she drew me to her, and her hot lips travelled along my cheek in kisses; and she would whisper, almost in sobs, "You are mine, you shall be mine, and you and I are one for ever". ("Carmilla", Chapter 4).

Just for fun, Italian rockers Theatre des Vampires did a song and music video titled Carmilla.  Unfortunately to comply with MTV's standards and practices, blood and murder were not allowed.

Maeve and Patricia; Of Vampires and Humans

Patricia opened the lid of her coffin.  Maeve was there to greet her.  Maeve gave her a knowing smile, “So you had fun with a human boy last night?  How was it?”

©David Zahir,  http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=David+Zahir# 

“ It was wonderful!  It was so good to feel a man inside me again.  What is between you and I is special of course...:”
Maeve stopped her, “ My dear Patricia, you need not explain anything to me.  I gather Philippe is a very nice man.”
“Indeed he is.  His story is incredible, and he’s a generous lover, too.”
”You know there is no future in that relationship.  Even if you were alive he could not marry you.  He is trothed to another and has been since he was a child.  Another aristocrat of comparable rank.”
“Of course, Maeve.  I liked him.  He was sweet and kind but I’m not in love with him.”
“That’s good.  I think we should talk about falling in love with the living.  It is wise to avoid doing it.  You will meet some men and women out there who will make your heart dance.  But there are obstacles that we cannot overcome.”
“For example?”
“Life and death.  Philippe is alive.  He can walk the day or night as he chooses.  He can eat the abundance of the land and he can have children.  We are excluded from all of those things.  There are only a few ways such relationships with humans can end and none of them is good.  
You can keep him or her close which means they will know your secrets including where you lie during the day.  This makes you vulnerable.  How many people do you think can remain faithful to someone who lives by drinking the blood of other humans?  A creature that often drains them to their death then disposes of their bodies in the most convenient way possible? A being that  has done so countless times in the past and will continue to so for eternity?  We may look like humans.  We are beautiful, seductive and powerful and can be quite charming but in fact we are monsters!  Finally, if you should you find a human that is worthy of your trust then you shall have the pleasure of watching them whither and die.
Your other choice is to bring him or her over.  Make them one of us.  Do you think they will still love you once they realize the enormity of what has been done to them?  That they are condemned to wander the Earth drinking life from others for eternity? 
 Why did I bring you over?  The reasons are many but  you were at the end of your life as a human.  Your choice was to become a vampire or be truly dead.  It was a choice you made.  I know you miss the comforts of your husband and your child but at least you’re not mouldering in a grave.  You can, if you wish, observe the progress of their lives even though you cannot be a part of it.”

Sisters of Mercy

Vision Thing

Back by Popular Demand

Good Goddess!  I am such a slug, It's nearly the middle of July and I'm just getting around to my first post of the month!  What have I been doing?  The bad part is I've been suffering through changes in my neuro-psychiatric meds.  I'm not REAL crazy, just kinda crazy.  Like major depressive disorder which usually isn't that difficult to treat but when you also have epilepsy, shit gets complicated.  Anyway, the good part is I'm able to stay awake again, so here I am!

If a person can have a theme song, I think this one is mine.  The title is Unbreakable and it's by a Swedish band called The Murder of My Sweet.  The title describes my life in the last 2 years.

By the way, lots of eye candy for everyone in this band!

The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow: a short horror movie

I discovered this while searching for more songs from the Scary Bitches whom I first found on The Macabre and the Beautifully Grotesque.  It's only 6 minutes long, one of which is opening credits.  There is no animation.  Just a series of magnifications and details of a single photograph.  It's chilling, as you will see.  Sweet dreams! 

Romantic Goth Style

A girl can always use some style tips.  I think My style is somewhat eclectic but If I have to choose, Romantic Goth is what I strive for.  I like corsets, classic/Gothic literature, vampire  and and supernatural stories (amongst other genres).

This was helpful,  How to Be a Romantic Goth.
Now I need to find the right hair dye...

Where Have I Been?

© Stephen Rothwell 

Well, I have been spending my time in front of the computer working on my vampire story  Patricia, and another writing project as well. I realize I've been neglecting the blog so I have a few things I've gathered and would like to share. There is a Facebook page called The Macabre and the Beautifully Grotesque, which like it's name indicates is full of dark art works. Here a re few on the subject of Alice in Wonderland. I also found this little diddy there, a great song on the timely topic of avenging vampires!

*   *   *   *   *   *

I'm the Woman Who Killed Jack the Ripper - Scary Bitches

This is a picture of Romantic Goth ideal.  This is a look I hope to achieve one day.                                                                                                                                                                                                               

I've also had a little time to go shopping.  I found a great store on line called Red Hat. They have a great selection of... everything, except shoes!

Lights, Camera, Showoff!

I thought I would play around with lighting and LifeCam today with the idea of maybe doing something a little fashionable. I didn't accomplish that but I did learn a few tricks. For example the makeup look I use day to day, even the dramatic one, just disappears in artificial light and CCD chip. So I did some touching up and was none too shy about it. Here's a sample of things to come!

Guilty!

I have not done anything on my blog  for a week!  I apologize to those who actually give a shit and make my apology.  Mea culpa. Truth is this body, this piece of flesh and blood I call home has been giving me fits lately.


We've all had our moments.  A bit too much to drink..  Our boy friend or girl friend gives us a shove and we're on our way to terra firma!  What I have isn't like that.  It's worse.  Life keeps throwing things at me and I keep dodging them but once in a while it lands a blow.  That's what happened on April 18.  I went to see a neurologist because I've been having syncopal events which means I have sudden loss of consciousness.  These are accompanied by convulsions.  My neurologist told me I have epilepsy.  All this has scared the hell out of me!  I'm starting to get used to the idea.  Hopefully it can be controlled by medication and possibly by tweeking the many meds I already take, it may go away all together.

In the meantime, I'll go back to being the little Darkling I've always been.  Hopefully I'll be up a tree by next Friday and back to the Cat Club that night.


Oh yea, I decided on tree # 1  

Location Scouting in Colma

Hard as I try there are times when I just can't avoid going out in direct sunlight. Scouting locations in cemeteries is one of those occasions. So while I was slathering on sunscreen this morning I noticed the zinc oxide in the lotion gave me a nice pallid complexion. Then an idea came to me. Set this stuff with translucent powder and you've got an SPF 30 foundation!  I did and managed to maintain my deathly color all day.

I mentioned a few days ago that I wanted to do a Goths Up Trees photo to submit for publication.  Points are scored for appearance, where it was shot, time of day as well as the subjective tastes of the blog owner.  Hey, it's his blog.  He can do what he damn well pleases!  That's the beauty of blogging.

For costume, I plan to wear a skirt, fishnet stockings and high heel boots which will add points for being able to climb a tree so attired.  Height is another factor but one that can be diddled with by camera position.  Big bonus points if you do it in a graveyard at night or near night.  My goal in scouting was to find a tree in a graveyard that I could climb in skirt and heels while the sky is darkening.  So, I needed tombstones in the background and a camera angle facing east. This was more difficult than I expected.  I scanned over the Italian Cemetery but found nothing suitable.  Then I went to Jewish cemetery, Hills of Eternity and found a couple of trees I thought might work.  One even had a handy sarcophagus underneath to help me into the tree.  I decided not because desecration of Jewish cemeteries has been a problem, not in Colma, but still I didn't want to upset anyone.  That left me with my favorite bone orchard, Cypress Lawn It's larger and older than some of the others and designed in the late 19th century when large, park like cemeteries were in vogue.  There I found several trees easy enough to climb with the right background with the proper camera angle.

Please vote for the tree you would most like to see me in.  Leave your vote in comments!

Tree 3

Tree 1

Tree 2

Tree 4

Dark, Sick, Twisted

I belong to a Facebook group called Love Your Liver. It's a place for people that are involved in the transplant world to support each other. At times it's difficult for me because there's a fair amount of praying as well as Christian imagery in some of the posts. While I have a spiritual practice it's Pagan and I identify with the ancient Egyptian pantheon and feel a special connection with the Goddess Bastet. But I ramble... April was National Organ Doner Month, a campaign to get people to become organ doners at lifes end. A worthy cause indeed but me, being dark, sick and twisted immediately thought of Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and it's segment titled Live Organ Doners. I've restrained myself there but, hey, this is MY blog and I can do any damn thing I want! This is pretty graphic in a way only MP can be. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - -

Live from the Fabulous Cat Club - Dark Shadows

This place is truly fun!  Sort of like a really good Halloween party.   From a woman whereing a cape, a belt, a Darth Vader helmet and nothing else!  Complete with a platoon of storm troopers.  Most women are wearing very skimpy outfits, showing lots of flesh and you don't have to be a stick insect.  My only regret is I didn't bring someone with me.

The Hut of Baba Yaga

Call me lazy. You won't be the first. I did say as part of my series of dark classics I would find a video of this.
 



If you watch no other videos today you must watch this one. It's short,  about 2 and a half minutes but very clever.

Out on the Dark Town

It's time I got out and met some other Goth folk in San Francisco.  I plan to begin hitting clubs.  I'm going to start this Friday at the Cat Club, SOMA (for those not familiar with SF that's South of Market, ).  The night is called Dark Shadows.  It features 2 bars, one in the middle and one in back.    It "Generally has the more swirly stuff playing up front and the stompy in the back" according to Christina L on Yelp.  Maybe I'll meet that special Darkling I've been looking for...

Saturday, in the Park...

My project for the week:  enlist the aid of my roommate, Miriam, to create my own submission to that famous blog, Goths Up Trees.  I'll deck myself out in a black outfit, holie fishnets and granny boots, add my palest of foundations (Kryolan 1W) and go find a tree!  I was going to do this today in Golden Gate Park but then I got the great idea that a cemetary or tomb would make an excellent backdrop.  So it looks like a trip to Colma is in order and I know just the tomb!  Pictures to follow.

For those that think goth culture is morbid and depressing I say this; morbid yes depressing, no.  Depressed people don't spend 2 hours getting dressed each day.

Goth Metal or Symphonic Metal?

Goth Metal or Symphonic Metal.  What's the difference?  Take a goth metal band, add a string section and voila!  There is of course more to it than that but it's interesting that the biggest names in symphonic metal at one time identified as goth metal.

It's hard to tell the difference  Symphonic metal came out of the late 90s when several bands from Scandinavia started applying their classical music training to their dark/goth metal sensibilities.  Most prominent of these is the Finnish band  Nightwish and their former front woman, Tarja Turunen who bears a striking resemblance to Morticia Adams

Within Temptation is one of my favorite bands of all time and their latest album, The Unforgiving, is a masterpiece.  A concept album supported by films and comic books.  It starts with Mother Maiden, a powerful necromancer who  has the ability to raise the spirits and bodies of the dead.  She selects people who died after making a mistake that resulted in the death of another.  These wraiths are given the chance to redeem themselves and gain entrance to heaven by fighting evil in this world.  Nothing dark or goth about this concept.  The fabulous Sharon den Adel says so (I really do think she's fabulous).  Neither are the clothes she designs for herself, like that black crocodile skin 

corset she wears on stage.

Last year Epica guitarist   Mark Jansen said in an interview that Epica was a goth band.  Lead singer and co-founder Simone Simons says no, they are a symphonic metal band.

Joanna Loses Her Crown

I discovered yesterday that I AM NOT the World's Oldest Goth Girl. Suelynn Gustafson of Denver CO has me beat by a couple of decades! Who knew? I'm not going to change the name though. She's 75 and has a gamey ticker, so sooner or later I'll hold the title. "Suelynn Gustafson was doing goth before it was cool. In fact, Suelynn Gustafson was doing goth about five decades before anyone even thought to call it goth, let alone cool, and furthermore, she doesn't mind telling you that she doesn't think much of the teenyboppers doing it today. "I think they're phony," she says," - Westword, April 4, 2012.

Danse Macabre-Tim Burton Style

Danse Macabre - Camille Saint-Saens
I just love French impressionist composers  Classical continues...




<b>Poem by Henri Cazalis, <i>Translation Joel Sattler</i></b>


Ziggy zaggy zig, Mr. Death is dancing 
In a happy jig with a toothy grin 
Hopping on the graves, tapping on the tombs  
In the mid of night to a violin 


The wind blows cold, and the winter’s nigh  
The trees are all groaning under the sky 
The music plays, the skeletons fly 
The ghosts in their coffins are glad they died 


Ziggy zaggy zig, all the bones will shake 
Clicky clicky clack such a horrid sound 
And two corpses kiss with forgotten lips 
Mockery of love - lying on the ground 


Ziggy ziggy Zag, Mr. Death is fiddling 
All the dead will jump to his violin 
Now the shrouds are ripped and the bones are naked 
Imitation of - memory of sin 


The lady she lies with the poor guttersnipes 
She’d never of touched them in her past life 
She gives all her lust, at least then she tries 
If she were still mortal she’d have no pride 


Ziggy zaggy zig, what a bacchanalia 
Look at all the damned, dancing in a ring 
Such an awful sight is beyond all horror 
Terrible the sound if they try to sing! 


But wait! The day’s come round at last 
The cock’s now crowing, the sky is so red 
Oh such awful night, what an awful fright - so 
Be glad that we die - all equally dead!

Out of the Goth Closet

I'm out of the Goth closet or bat cave as it's sometimes called.  From the beginning, How to Tell if You Are a Closet Goth was posted on Amy Asphodel's blog, Stripy Tight and Dark Delights, FKA Ultimate Goth Guide, which it truly is.  Amy has assembled the most comprehensive site available on all things Goth.


I scored a 15 out of 20 but I've been out since January. I was attending a friend's birthday party and went to get some refreshments where I met 2 other women one of whom, like me, was dressed in black. One of them commented on the coffin pendant (with a skeleton inside) I was wearing. Sheepishly, I said that I was "kind of gothy". The woman in black told me there was no such word as "gothy". I said I had goth sensibilities. "No" she replied "you're goth." And I have been ever since.

I got 15 of them but I'm happy to say I'm out of the goth closet! It happened in January. I was attending a friend's birthday party and went to get some refreshments where I met 2 other women one of whom, like me, was dressed in black. One of them commented on the coffin pendant(with a skeleton inside)I was wearing. Sheepishly, I said that I was "kind of gothy". The woman in black told me there was no such word as gothy. I said I had goth sensibilities. "No" she replied "you're goth." And I have been ever since.

One does not live on rock music alone.  The following is a Vasnier poem set to music by Claude Debussey.

Coquetterie Posthume from the Vasnier Songbook by Claude Debussy - Nicole Yazolino, soprano

In English

When I die, one must place
Before nailing down my coffin,
A little rouge on my cheekbone,
A little black line around my eye.

Because I want, in my closed casket,
Like the evening of his confession,
To stay eternally rosy,
With coal black on my blue eyes.

Pose me without the yellow of immortality,
Without a pillow embroidered with tears.
On my lace pillow
Flowing with my tresses.

That pillow, in crazy nights,
Has seen our brows sleeping together
And on the black bulging shroud,
Count our infinite kisses.

Between my pale waxed hands
Reunited in prayer,
Wind the opal rosary,
Blessed by the Roman Pope.

I will unstring it in the bed,
From which nothing again rises.
His mouth will place on my mouth,
Every Pater Noster and Ave Maria.

Corsets and Such

My roommate and dear friend, who shall remain nameless, always thought it precious that I affected a Victorian lady by wearing a corset. I love corsets. You can have the shape of a box car and a corset can make you look good! They're beautiful garment and make you look and feel sexy. Tight lacing or waste training corset can actually change the shape of your body. I've been in one 3 times a week for the past 2 years. I'm on my second won as I it worked so well I needed a smaller one. A couple days ago she wanted to look at corsets, just curious. So I gave her the name of the vendor where I buy them, Orchard Corset . She was curious so I offered to let her borrow one of mine. Yesterday she was getting ready to go out and took me up on the offer. She'd never put one on before and had no idea how to put on so of course I offered to help her. I gave her the helpful hints like "put your damn shoes on first" and "dress from the bottom up. When we got to the corset she cursed the thing for being so difficult and wondered why the lacing isn't in the front where it would be easy to tie. Finally, I got her into it and tight laced it closed. She went off mumbling and put on the rest of her clothes. Then she looked in the full length mirror and said, "Oh my God!" as she admired her new figure "it even lifts my boobs up!".

It's 12:30 AM.  Why the hell am I writing this now???  I feel guilty, in 3 months I've not gone beyond the intro. What is being Goth about for me?  Fashion, music, culture, art and literature.  And fun, everyday is Halloween if you want it to be.  To make this brief I'm linking a video from my absolutely favorite band in the world, Dutch symphonic/goth rockers, Within Temptation.

Ah hell, let's double the fun! This is avery dark yet humorous video. Enjoy!

How did I Become the World's Oldest Goth Girl?

Quite simple really, extreme procrastination. I lurked in corners when people had never even heard of lurking ;No Internet unless you happened to be a rocket scientist. In the 80s I was preoccupied with becoming a yuppie to pay much attention to who I really was. Loved Souxsie and the Dark Wave bands but that wasn't gonna get me promoted.
I discovered that being a workaholic was lonely and I found a sweet woman named Jill. We think she conceived the night we announced our engagement. 9 months later Molly was born and being a husband and father proved to be time consuming. I loved it for the most part. The end was not so good.

First, there was the gender thing. I started this life as a heterosexual male. After a good deal of effort I am now a bisexual female. Even so I still tried to fit in as a regular girl. I had started life kinda normal but a string of ailments early on gave me a premature awareness that life is temporary. I developed a fascination with things beyond the grave. Ghost stories, creepy horror movies and books. Later in life I discovered I had a chronic, incurable and eventually fatal illness. It would be a slow demise so I had plenty of time to think about how I would spend the time remaining. I have a skill or handicap depending on one's perspective. I'm a high self-monitor who practices impression management. I had to stop doing that if I wanted to free my inner goth chick. Oh, the woman with the sword is not me. But I wish it were!